2Audrey:
>Конечно! Но сколько семей без детей! И ничего.
>А Патти не подстроилась. Хотя могла бы.
From the personal papers of PAttie Boyd _ на тумблере нашла
часть 4
http://maccasworkshop.tumblr.com/“Teen Vogue cover line-up! Line-up for models! Boyd, Pattie? Is she present?”
It was just another busy day at the modeling agency and I found myself in a state of pain—to say the least, my stomach churned worse than ever. I had no idea for the cause for it and concern grew within me.
“Boyd, Pattie? Is she present?”
“Here,” I said, clutching my stomach and taking deep breaths. The pains were getting worse now. It could not have been appendicitis—I already had my appendix removed. I was growing weary of the incessant pain by that point, and I had thought of every probable cause in the book. There was only one cause I had not rejected—pregnancy.
“Boyd, are you all right?” Victoria, another model at the agency, turned to me and revealed concern for my clutched stomach and my unsubtle gasps.
“Not really, Vicky,” I said, gasping for air. “I feel awful.”
Victoria went across to the magazine director and whispered something to her.
“Boyd, you can go home,” the director said. I felt horrid for ditching the photo shoot but something told me that doing a photo shoot was simply inopportune at the time.
The first thing I decided to do when I reached my apartment was to call the doctor. After scheduling an appointment, I was able to hail a taxi and get to the hospital right before the pain in my abdomen had gone from vigorous to searing pain.
“Ms. Boyd, I am happy to inform you that you are not pregnant,” the nurse said.
“Oh, thank goodness,” I said, relieved. It’s not that I did not want children, but being an unmarried model, I was trying to avoid it for a bit. I should have known better to have been careful for what I had wished for.
“However, I’m afraid that you will be unable to conceive.” Those were the final words she said before she left the room.
I was left, gaping against the wall in absolute horror. Like I said, I had not wanted children at the time, but the thought of never being able to have any in case I had changed my mind…well, you can imagine, I’m sure.
The doctor had found out that it was only a digestive issue and she prescribed tablets for me, which had immediate effect on me. My stomach was at peace, but there was a battle in my mind. My main concern was how George would have reacted to this uneventful news. The other day, he seemed to be so eager about having children, and I was truly afraid that he would leave me if he found out he could never have any—all because of me.
And how miserable I would feel, even if George did stay with me! He’d do it out of true loyalty, while I would have nothing to give back in return. Not his dream child, not his heir to his throne—nothing.
“Pattie, darling. Beautiful as always, love.” George entered my apartment with positivity flowing in his eyes and his smile. It made me feel sick inside—I had to break his heart.
“George, love, there are things I need to discuss with you,” I said, trying to maintain a straight face.
He scooped me in his arms and held me tightly. “And there are things I need to discuss with you,” he said, his eyes growing wider. I shuffled out of his arms to show him that it was a grave matter. His smile vanished and I knew I had conveyed my message.
“I went to the doctor’s office today,” I started. “I had some pains in my abdomen and all and I thought I was pregnant—”
“Pregnant? Pattie, you’re pregnant! So this means I get to marry you, eh?” In spite of the fact that we were unmarried, he seemed happy. Little did he know that I was about to break his happiness. How could I? After his reaction, after his excitement. I could not bring myself to do it. I had to say something…
“How did you guess?” I said, faking a smile.
George’s eyes were wide open now. “My Pattie’s having a baby! Boy or girl? If it’s a boy, we’ll name him George jr.! If it’s a girl, how about Georgia? No wait, how about Brigitte? Like Brigitte Bardot? Oh, goodness, I’m going to be a father, Pattie! And you a mother, how about that? Oh, and we’ll have to get married, that’s important…”
And it took me an instant to realize that what I told him was probably a million times worse than breaking his heart right there and then.
