Magical Mystery Bug - Beatles PC humor

Вам, юзеры, ламеры, админы, хакеры и чайники...

Blow up!
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (and it got no invitation)
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (to crash a compilation)
Blow up for the mystery bug
The magical mystery bug
is waiting to blow you away
Waiting to blow you away

Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (it deletes everything you need)
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (frustation guaranteed)
Blow up for the mystery bug

The magical mystery bug
is hoping to blow you away
Hoping to blow you away

Ah, the magical mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (and it got no invitation)
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (to crash a compilation)
Blow up for the mystery bug

The magical mystery bug
is coming to blow you away
Coming to blow you away
The magical mystery bug
is dying to blow you away
Dying to blow you away
Blow you today

Eleanor Rigby

Ah, look at all the lonely users...

Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Ah, look at all the lonely users...

Our system admins
tear out their hair
and they swear and some really do care
but cannot help us
look at us working
spending our lives with hard drives
'til our eyes start to go
what does it show?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Elanor Rigby,
died at the keyboard just after
she finished her will,
"Leave it to Bill."
Father McKenzie,
looks for the file that tells
what to write on her grave
nothing was saved.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Yesterday,

Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.

Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,

Imagine

Imagine there's no Windows,
It's easy if you try.
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives.
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
Imagine neverending hard disks,
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money.

You may say I'm a hacker,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM

Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can.
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again.
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!

You may say I'm a hacker,
But I'm not the only one.
Maybe someday I'll be a cracker

Рулез!.. А где "Write in C"??
И Элеонору слыхивал не такую - там, где батя Маккензи чипсы хавал над клавой...
с'mon, c'mon, c'mon!..

2Андрей Хрисанфов:

Да я уж всем списком не стал))))
А альтернативную версию "Элиноры" тоже видал:), но не ухватил за ссылку...

ну и Джордж конечно же, со своей нетленкой...

Something

Something in the way it fails,
Defies the algorithm's logic!
Something in the way it coredumps...

I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this problem somehow

Somewhere in the memory I know,
A pointer's got to be corrupted.
Stepping in the debugger will show me...

I don't want to leave it now
I'm too close to leave it now

You're asking me can this code go?
I don't know, I don't know...
What sequence causes it to blow?
I don't know, I don't know...

Something in the initializing code?
And all I have to do is think of it!
Something in the listing will show me...

I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this tonight I vow!

Bob Dylan
:)))))))))
To complete it add something by R.Zimmermann!..
:)))

Something like that:

...The answer my friend is blowing in the Win... (...dows) (!..)
The answer is blowing in the Win...

2JohnLenin:

>Bob Dylan
>:)))))))))
>To complete it add something by R.Zimmermann!..
>:)))

I'll do it for sure, Mr Lenin! :)))

СУПЕР!!!!!!
Только "Вчера" какая то неПОЛная...текста явно нехватает...Давай ещё!!!!

2BassPaul:

>СУПЕР!!!!!!
>Только "Вчера" какая то неПОЛная...текста явно
>нехватает...Давай ещё!!!!

ДоПОЛню :)))

Юникс мэн...откуда он явился?

Nowhere Man

He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX .plans
for nobody

Knows the blocksize from 'du'
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you
And me?

UNIX Man, don't worry
It's the tube that's blurry
UNIX Man
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned

He's as wise as he can be
Programs in lex, yacc and C
UNIX Man, can you help me
At all?

UNIX Man, please listen
My printout is missin'
UNIX Man
The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command

кто это там с диодами в небесах?

Lucy in the sky with diodes

Picture yourself with software to deliver
Your code won't compile with two thousand tries
Somebody calls to walk through your new program
A girl with oscilloscope eyes

Silicon RAM chips that mess up your screen
Showering rays through your head
Look for your brain at the end of the day
And it's gone
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes

Follow her down past her desk by a mountain
Of documentation, you ask yourself why
Everyone smiles as you fumble through spec sheets
That read so incredibly dry

Verification appears such a chore
Yawning the hours away
Climb up a wall looking for the dead code
Then you're gone
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes

Picture yourself with your own new workstation
With parallel ports and a fast floppy drive
Suddenly someone is there with your paycheck
The girl with oscilloscope eyes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes

ОФИЦИАЛЬНОЕ ЗАЯВЛЕНИЕ

Люди, тема отнюдь не ограничена англоязычными каверами в стиле хай тек. Помещайте свои самые разные версии самых разных песен. И будет нам щастье:)

Yesterday, исправленная и доПОЛненная(или не забывайте про бэкап)

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.

Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

Cranberry Sauce Forever
(to the tune of Strawberry Fields Forever)

Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce..
eating is real and eating is good to hung about
Cranberry Sauce forever

tasting is easy with eyes closed
You should be digesting all you eat
It's getting sour to eat some cranberries but it's still sweet
It is still tasted good to me

Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce
eating is real and eating is good to hung about
Cranberry Sauce forever

No one I think is in my tree
I mean it must be some kind of a berry tree
That is you don't know nothing can top a cranberry.
That is I think it's not too bad

Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce
eating is real and eating is good to hung about
Cranberry Sauce forever

Always, no sometimes, think it's me
But you know I know it's just a cranberry
I think ya know I mean a 'sauce' and it's all right..
That is I think it's just a berry..

Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce
eating is real and eating is good to hung about
Cranberry Sauce forever
Cranberry Sauce forever
Cranberry Sauce forever

http://users.i.com.ua/~heatersa/pc_humor.htm

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Run For Your Files
(to the tune of Run For Your Life)

Well I'd like you to blow your head, little geek
Than to be in another LAN
You better keep your head, little geek
Or I won't know where I am

You better run for your files if you can, little geek
get your files out of here little geek
Catch you in another LAN
That's the end'a little geek

Well I know that I'm a wicked bug
And You was born without any luck
And I can't spend my whole life
Trying just to make you off the line

You better run for your files if you can, little geek
get your files of out here little geek
Catch you in another LAN
That's the end'a little geek

Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I've wicked mind
And I'd rather see you dead

You better run for your files if you can, little geek
get your files out of here little geek
Catch you in another LAN
That's the end'a little geek

I'd see you dead, little geek
Than to be in another LAN
You better keep your head, little geek
Or you won't know where I am

You better run for your files if you can, little geek

Catch you in another LAN
That's the end'a little geek
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Nintendo 64
(to the tune of When I'm Sixty Four)

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
I will still be playing to past my time.
having fun drinking bottle of wine
If I'd been up till quarter to three
and locking my door
I will be with you but I'm playing my
Nintendo 64

You'll be older too
And if you say the word
I could play with you

I could be handy, playing a game
When the light have gone
You can draw the Yoshi by the fireside
Sunday mornings playing all day..
Super Mario and lots of game..
I could play for more
I will be with you but I'm playing my
Nintendo 64

Every summer I can rent a cartridge
For many days and nights, if it's not too old
It's not a dream to play
your Grandchildren's game like
Super Mario

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating your game review
Indicate precisely how to save my day
I query you to give away
Give me your answer,
and hints for more
I will be with you but I'm playing my
Nintendo 64

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Magical Mystery Bug
(to the tune of Magical Mystery Tour)

Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (and it got no invitation)
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (to crash a compilation)
Blow up for the mystery bug


The magical mystery bug
is waiting to blow you away
Waiting to blow you away


Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (it deletes everything you need)
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (frustation guaranteed)
Blow up for the mystery bug

The magical mystery bug
is hoping to blow you away
Hoping to blow you away

Ah, the magical mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (and it got no invitation)
Blow up for the mystery bug
Blow up (to crash a compilation)
Blow up for the mystery bug

The magical mystery bug
is coming to blow you away
Coming to blow you away
The magical mystery bug
is dying to blow you away
Dying to blow you away
Blow you today

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Internet Is Fun
(to the tune of Mother Nature's Son)

Logging in to a chat room,
Internet is Fun
All day long,
I'm tying up the phone lines as I chat.

Going onto web pages,
Internet is Fun
Browsing pages,
I'm comparing downloads from each one.

Finally I'm logging off,
Internet is Fun
Now I'm busy,
Looking at the stuff I downloaded.

Aaah...

Internet is Fun

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Batman

Let me tell you to see this movie
There's a good actor called George Clooney
Yeah He's the Batman,
yeah, He's the Batman

There are few good movies for this summer.
forget raptors and catch a bat fever..
Let's see the Batman,
Let's, see the Batman

It's a batmobile, that will roam the street
Let's meet Mr. Freeze, he can take out you heat
That cute batgirl , will get you on your feet..
batman and Robin, they move with the speed.
Batman

Yeah's He's the Batman,
yeah He's the batman

Don't ask me why I see it for(Ah Ah Mr. Bruce Wayne)
All I really want is too see it more.(Ah Ah Mr. Freeze)
'cause I like the Batman.
yeah, I like the Batman

Here's my advice: be early in line..
the tickets will appear before your eyes.

Yeah you'll like the Batman,
yeah, you'll like the Batman
And you'll seeing this movie with me
Batman..

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

I Should Have Known AOL Better

I should have known better with AOL like them
That I would hate everything that they do
And I do, hey hey hey, and I do

Whoa, whoa, I never realized that AOL wasn't free
this not only happen to me
Can't they see, can't they see

That when I tell them that I hate them, oh
they're gonna say they bill me too, hoo, hoo, hoo, oh
And when I ask to them to cancel mine.
They're gonna say they bill me, too..

So, oh I never realized how much was AOL fee
this not only happen to me
Can't they see, can't they see

That when I tell them that I hate them, oh
They're gonna see the bunch of "me too", hoo, hoo, hoo, oh
And when I ask them to cancel mine
They're gonna say they bill me too

Whoa whoa I never realized they wanted to censor me.
this not only happen to me
Can't they see, can't they see

That when I tell they that I hate them, oh
They're gonna say they bill me too, hoo, hoo, hoo, oh
And when I ask them to cancel mine.
They're gonna say they bill me too
They bill me too
they bill me too

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

And I Hate Mac
to the tune of "And I Love Her")

I see them in the store
I start to laugh
Those people are pretty dumb:
Ones who buy Macs

And I hate Mac

PC's give you everything
and quickly
The idiots with "power" Macs
cry endlessly

And I hate Mac

A PC like mine
will never die
as long as I
upgrade cheaply

Bright is Win 95
Dark is their screen
I know this PC of mine
will never die

And I hate Mac

Bright is Win 95
Dark is their screen
I know this PC of mine
will never die

And I hate Mac

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Real Audio

All my little MIDIs and WAVs,
They're something that I used to have,
Seems that all I really was doin',
Was waitin' for ra 2.

Just like little girls and boys,
Playing with computer toys,
Seems like all we really were doin',
Was converting sound files.

No need to have poor sound,
No need to have poor sound.
It's real audio,
It's real.
Yes it's real audio,
It's real.

From this moment on I know,
Exactly where my WAVs can go,
Seems that all I really was doin',
Was deleting MIDI files.

No need to be afraid,
No need to be afraid.
We've got real audio,
It's real.
Yes it's real audio,
It's Real.

Thought my WAVs were good before,
But in my heart I wanted more,
Now I think I've found the key,
It's real audio 3!

No need to be without,
No need to be without.
It's real audio,
It's real.
Yes it's real audio,
It's real.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Lucy In the Sky With Diode

Picture yourself with software to deliver
Your code won't compile with two thousand tries
Somebody calls to walk through your new program
A girl with oscilloscope eyes

Silicon RAM chips that mess up your screen
Showering rays through your head
Look for your brain at the end of the day
And it's gone
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes

Follow her down past her desk by a mountain
Of documentation, you ask yourself why
Everyone smiles as you fumble through spec sheets
That read so incredibly dry

Verification appears such a chore
Yawning the hours away
Climb up a wall looking for the dead code
Then you're gone
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes

Picture yourself with your own new workstation
With parallel ports and a fast floppy drive
Suddenly someone is there with your paycheck
The girl with oscilloscope eyes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes
Lucy in the sky with diodes

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Letter B ( parody of Let It Be)

when i find i can't remember
what comes after a
and before c
my mother always whispers words of wisdom
letter b

she told me b starts
big and bird and
ball and bat and battery
yes buh buh buh buh buh means
letter b

letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b
she whispers buh buh buh means letter b

and when i feel downhearted,
mother whispers
b words constantly
like bib, bob, bulb, and bubble
letter b

now in my hour of darkness
there's a sound i know will comfort me,
it's the buh buh buh buh buh of letter b

letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b
my mother whispers b words,
letter b

letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b
my mother whispers b words,
letter b

letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b
bless the buh-buh sound of letter b

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Lonely Users
Original : Eleanor Rigby

Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
Where is the style?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
What is it worth?
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the blood off his hands as he walks from the grave;
Nothing was saved.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Monopoly
(to Yesterday)

Monopoly -- I thought my errors had all gone away.
Now it looks as if they'll always stay.
I recompiled Monopoly!

Suddenly, it's not half the game it used to be.
There's a core dump sitting next to me.
Oh, Monopoly died suddenly!

Why it had to blow, I don't know.
What could it be?
I did something wrong, now I long for Monopoly.

Monopoly -- it was such an easy game to play.
Now the logic has all gone away.
Oh, why get me, Monopoly?

Why it had to blow, I don't know.
What could it be?
I did something wrong, now I long for Monopoly.

Monopoly -- It was such an easy game to play.
Now I need some space to work away.
Oh, why besiege my Monopoly?

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Unix Man
(to The Beatles' "Nowhere Man")

He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX .plans
For nobody

Knows the blocksize from 'du'
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you
And me?

UNIX Man, don't worry
It's the tube that's blurry
UNIX Man
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned

He's as wise as he can be
Programs in lex, yacc and C
UNIX Man, can you help me
At all?

UNIX Man, please listen
My printout is missin'
UNIX Man
The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

When I'm Sixty Four
(to the same tune)

When I get older, losing my hair,
Many years from now,
I will still be sittin' at a terminal,
Number crunching giving me hell,
Rewriting programs, running them through,
Logged in evermore.
I'll always be here.
I'll never leave here
'Til I'm sixty-four.

It would be dandy getting this done,
If it were correct.
But here I sit from Friday night 'til Saturday,
Sunday morning typing away.
One hundred hours all through the week,
Printouts on the floor.
I'll always be here.
I'll never leave here
'Til I'm sixty-four.

Send me a post card, drop me a line
From your graduate school.
Mail it "care of Barton Hall two-twenty-five."
Let me know if I'm still alive!
There you will find me buried beneath
Printouts by the score.
I'll always be here.
I'll never leave here
'Til I'm sixty-four.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Berkeley 4.3
Original : Yellow Submarine

In the RAM
where I was forked,
lived a ROM,
who sailed the C...

And he told,
me of his life,
in the Berkeley,
4.3...

We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.
We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Write in C

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.

(and what about C++ ?)

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Yellow Subroutine

In the town where I was born,
Lived a man, who played with 'C'.
And he coded his whole life
On a stack of Function Keys.

So we traced to his data schemes,
Til we found a 'C' routine..
And we lived beneath the SAVES,
In our yellow Sub-Routine...

Chorus:
WE ALL live in A YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE,
YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE, YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE .... (ETC)

When our friends are on the boards,
Many MODEMS RETURN NEXT:FOR
Then the BAUD RATE goes astray...
(B-B-BEEP, BEEP BEEP B-B-BEEP..)

Chorus (IF YOU CAN STAND IT!)

As we live in Memories
Every one of us Returns Linefeeds...
CPU and 'C' Routine,
In our yellow SUB-Routine...

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Bill Gates
(to the tune of Get Back)

Bill Gates was a man who thought he wasn't a loser
But Microsoft wouldn't last..
Bill Gates who came up with DOS and the nice Windows
is planning for the net control.

Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
The net isn't belong to you.
Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
The net isn't belong to you.
Get back, Bill Gates. Go home!

The great man named Bill Gates thought he wasn't a geek.
but his crews are surly geeks.
Some people around him say he's got it building.
But he builds it while he can.

Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
The net isn't belong to you.
Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
The net isn't belonged to you.
Get back, Bill Gates. Go home!

Oh! Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
The net isn't belong to you.
Yeah! Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
The net isn't belong to you.
Get back, Bill Gates. Go home!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Coding In C
(A Parody of Octopus's Garden)

I'd like to be coding in C
In the Sun Computer lab in the shade
Stay up all night, program it right
In a Sun Computer lab in the shade

I'd ask my friends to program C
in the computer lab with me
I'd like to be coding in C
In a Sun Computer lab in the shade.

We've never done using the Sun
In our little hideaway making lots of fun.
banking our head until we're dead.
In a Sun Computer lab in the shade

We would code and hack around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be coding in C
In a Sun computer lab in the shade

We would shout and scream about
our codes that pile up on the dirty floor
(Pile up on the dirty floor)
Oh what joy for all programmer boys
Knowing file system's never be safe..
(file system's never be safe)

We would be coding to death you and me
No one there to help us about C
I'd like to be coding in C
In a Sun computer lab with you.
In a Sun computer lab with you.
In a Sun computer lab with you.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Yesterday

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away.
Microsoft brought new ones here to stay.
Oh, how I wish for yesterday.

Suddenly,
Nothing works at all efficiently.
GPFs are running rampantly.
Oh, Microsoft, just please leave me!

Why we had to go
To Windows 95
I couldn't say.
Windows just works wrong.
How I long for yesterday.

Suddenly,
OS/2 was praised triumphantly
But was marketed pathetically.
Now 95 is haunting me.

Why 95 is alive
I just can't say.
Bill just stole the Mac
And went back
To Yesterday.

Ah yesterday --
So where do I want to go today?
To a place where Gates is far away.
Oh, how I wish for yesterday.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

The Strong and Binding Load
(to the tune of The long and Winding Road)
The strong and binding load that cleaves to your drawers
Swilled beavers shift your gears
Obscene fat toads at war
In hallways filled with beer...leaking out your pores!

The wide and witless blight of your brain cast to waste
Has left a drooling leer
Frozen on your face
Frogs squeeze meat in your ear...rotting up the place!

Zany rhymes that you moan
Show signs of brain decline
Dumb as clay, full of mold
An empty vapid mind
But still they seep in cracks
To the long and grinding nose
You goosed me in the rear
King Kong climbed for dough
Don't keep me wretching here (don't keep me wretching)
Breed me on the floor!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Mac Man

Just some background:
Macman was the nickname of the newspaper's computer guru,
Mr. Sweetwood was the editor, Mr. Shaw the publisher and
Greg Pike the Supreme Computer Guru

Let me tell you how it will be
I hook up new technology
'Cos I'm the Macman
Yeah, I'm the Macman
If your screens appear to small
Be thankful you got them at all
'Cos I'm the Macman
Yeah, I'm the Macman
If you Mac breaks down, I'll fix it right
If your screen turns black I'll make it white
If your files won't save, don't get uptight
But if you want it quick, then ask Greg Pike
Macman
'Cos I'm the Macman
Yeah, I'm the Macman
With Macs we'll tease and then we'll laugh
(Ah Ah, Mister Sweetwood)
As we give them to the East Zone staff
(Ah, ah, Mr. Shaw)
'Cos I'm the Macman
Yeah, I'm the Macman
Now that a Mac is on your desk
Will you stop being such a pest?
'Cos I'm the Macman
Yeah, I'm the Macman
And you're relying on no-one but me
Macman

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

A DAY ON THE NET
(A Day In The Life)

I read a post today, oh boy
About a boring man, who made a page
And though the page was rather bad
Well I just had to laugh
Tho' I had read just half

He saw a .gif today, oh boy
It had a well known pic; used before
A crowd of surfers clicked on "Back"
I headed for the door
I've seen that pic before

I'd love to log... on...

Woke up, got on the net
T'get as much, as I could get
Found my way inside, a chat room
But that chat room, would soon be my tomb

Ahhhhhhh....

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

INTERNET WRITER
(Paperback Writer)

Internet Writer...
Dear homepage surfer will you read my page
It took a day to write it, it's the latest rage
It based on a page by a man named Haber
And I need a hobby
So I wanna be an Internet writer
INTERNET WRITER!

It's a well done story, of the Beatles Anth
I'll be writing more when I get a grant
My PC runnin', but it needs t'be tighter
And I need some cash
So I gotta be an internet writer
INTERNET WRITER!

Internet Writer....

I think you'll like it, and I hope you will
I gotta give you this or my service is killed
If it seems to long, I can make it lighter
But out of all of this,
I wanna be an Internet writer
INTERNET WRITER!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

I'M ONLY SURFING
(I'm Only Sleeping)

When I log on to my local server,
I transform, to a surfer
Searchin' URLs at such a speed
Readin' newsgroups, with such ease (with such ease)

Think I'll chat now, 'bout my cat now
Mindless stuff like that
I'm only surfing

I read homepages at the rate of seven
I am in, h-t-t-p heaven
Findin all the Beatles stuff I can
I am one serious fan (sear-yous fan)

I won't quit now, no won't split now
Leave me where I am
I'm only surfing

Keepin' an eye on the posts goin' by my screen now,
Lost track of time...

Sittin' here and wonderin' what happened,
Reachin' for, the "Back" button

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

FAXMAN
(Taxman)

Let me show you what your page lacks
No E-Mail? I'll send a fax...

Cause I'm the Faxman
Yeeaaahhh I'm the Faxmaaan

If AOL should seem unfair
Be thankful that it's offered there

An' I'm the Faxman
Yeeaaahhh I'm the Faxmaaan

And your browsin' with no one, but me

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

NETSCAPE IS GOOD
(Norweigan Wood)

I,
Once had AOL,
And then, you see,
They took money

So,
I got Netscape
And now they say
How little I pay

They asked me to stay and they promised that I'd save alot
So I looked it over and noticed it wasn't a plot

And,
When I hooked up
I knew I should,
Netscape is good

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

YOUR SERVER SHOULD KNOW
(Your Mother Should Know)

Let's all get on, and write us a site
That people will stay up and read all night

But you'll find out that posting is all just a show
Your server should know
Your server should know

Ask 'em again...

(repeat first verse)

Let's all get on, our knees and beg,
The head of AOL were not pulling his leg

He might believe us but probably he won't,
Your server should know
Your server should know

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

YER (net) BLUES
(Yer Blues)

Yes I wanna, visit this site
Yes I wanna, visit this site
If I ain't there already,
Y'know this server really bites

It's a site, 'bout the Beatles
It's a site, 'bout the Beatles
Before AOL was alright
But now there on pins and needles

Netscape gets me mad
AOL, is much worse
I pay by the hour, now
You know what that's worth?

Yes I wanna, visit this site
Yes I wanna, visit this site
If I ain't there already,
Y'know this server really bites

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

SOME OTHER GUY
(Itself)

Some Other Guy, now,
Has taken away my page design, woah now,
Some Other Guy, now,
Is makin' me wish I had resigned, woah now,
Some Other Guy, now,
I just don't wanna view his site, oh now,
I'm the only one, who doesn't have a website, now
Woah oh ho ho

Some Other Guy, now
Is not respoding to my E-Mail, woah now,
Some Other Guy, now
Is makin' me very very mad, woah now,
Some Other Guy, now
I just wanna go offline right now, oh now,
I'm the only one, who doesn't have a website now
Woah oh ho ho

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

INTERNET
(Yesterday)

Internet,
All the stuff I ever hoped to get
The only problem is a big, big debt
Oh how I love, the Internet

Internet,
It's the greatest thing I've ever seen,
It's spiffy, groovy, neat-o, and keen
Oh, Internet, on you I lean

When, I'm, in a page
And I'm having a good time,
No, I've got, a search engine
When I look I fi-i-i-ind

Internet,
Only on you is my mind set
I'd be hooked in two days, I bet,
Oh how I love, the internet

Hmmm mm mm mm mm Hmmmmmmm

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

CHAT ROOM USER
(Blackbird)

Chat Room user in my website
Take these URLs, and view all night
All the night,
You were only waiting for this links, to be free

Chat Room Site, Chat Room Site
Into the light, of this new website

Chat room user in my website
Take this .jpg viewer and look and see
All the night,
You were only waiting, for this moment to see

Chat Room Site, Chat Room Site
Into the light, of this new website

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

A Day With A Cult
(to the tune of A Day In A Life)

I read a news today, oh boy
about a crazy cult down in San Diego
Though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I read it in Ralph..

They saw Hale-Bopp one night from their bed.
They thought they noticed aliens from outer space..
This group of people looked up and stared.
They'd seen heaven's gateway..
Nobody was really sure if they would be pick up by the aliens..
I love to turn you on..

I saw it on TV, oh boy!
39 people had commit suiside.
Marshall Applewhite wanted them to die
Cause the End are here.....
I love to turn you on..

woke up, got on the web!!
surfed for the porns before I left.
found myself waiting for a busy signal on AOL.
logging out
I noticed it was late.
found my MAC and drag a mouse
made web pages in an hour.
found myself fixing PC's and blew Windows
The systems crashed and I went out of the web..

I saw pictures today oh boy!!
and noticed a pair of Nike!!
Though Nike shoes were rather new!!
I have to count them all..
count how many pairs of Nike did these people wear..
I love to turn you on..

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

LAWSUIT TO FIGHT
(Ticket To Ride)

Note: This songs is dedicated, in loving
memory, to Sam Chokuri's John Lennon Page

I think I'm gonna get mad,
I think it's todaaaay, yeah!
The page I think is so rad
Has gone awaaaaay, yeah

It's got a lawsuit to fight
It's got a lawsuit to fi-hih-hight
It's got a lawsuit to FIGHT
So It's not there!

They claimed that it's author
was breakin the laaaaaaw, yeah!
For he had posted some stuff
That ev'ryone saaaaaaaaw, yeah!

He's got a lawsuit to fight
He's got a lawsuit to fi-hih-hight
He's got a lawsuit to FIGHT
So It's not there!

I don't know why their price is so hi-igh
They oughta think twice, they oughta do right, for me!
And when the page is sayin' gooby-high
I'm gonna think twice, and make one, for me!


It's got a lawsuit to fight
It's got a lawsuit to fi-hih-hight
It's got a lawsuit to FIGHT
So It's not there!

The website's not there
The website's not there
The website's not there
The website's not there

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

PLEASE DON'T POST, MAN
(Please Mr. Postman)

WAIT!
Oh yes, wait bit before you post, man
WAIT!
Way-ay-ait b'fore you post, man

Please don't post, man, unless you see
That what you're sayin' really sounds cheesy
I'm been postin', such a long time
So I should know what you're sayin' is grime!

Some many times, you've left a po-woah-wost
Givin' you, no room to boast
Please, Please don't post, man! Check and see,
If you're just spoutin' somethin' awfully

Ya gotta
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Woah yeah
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Woah yeah
Wait a minute, Wait a minute
Check it and see,
Sounds cheesy to me

Ya gotta
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Woah yeah
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Woah yeah
Wait a minute, Wait a minute
It had better be better
Or you'll get a letter!
Ya gotta
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Woah yeah
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Woah yeah
Wait a minute, Wait a minute...

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

NETSCAPE MAN
(Nowhere Man)

He's a real Netscape man,
Typing in his chat room land
Getting all the kicks he can
>From his PC

Internet Beatles Album,
Spanish Page, have lots of fun
He won't stop till he is done
With his PC

Everypage talks of the Anth
Some of them need to be banned
Same old, same old, everytime
That I log on

Netscape man,
Please limit,
All the time,
You're spendin'
Netscape man,
W-W-W, is at your command!

Sure has got a point of view,
He'll be glad to share with you
All the things he can do
on a newsgroup

Netscape man,
You're a bore,
Netscape man,
Please no more
Netscape man,
Your homepage should get canned!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

THE E-MAIL SONG
(No Reply)

So when, to no avail, I sent you E-Mail,
No reply
I know that's your address, I'm sure I didn't guess
The number

I know it's right!
I know it's right!

I know that you read it, even if you never said it
It's a lie

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

I'VE GOT A WEBPAGE
(I've Got A Feeling)

I've got a webpage,
A homepage deep inside, the net, oh no
I got a webpage,
I want everyone to get, oh no

I Got A Webpage!
Yeah!

I got a homepage,
Ev'ryone should see, oh no
I've got a homepage,
It's got "Live At The BBC!" Oh yeah!

Everybody has a modem
Everybody has a server
Everybody has a homepage
Everybody is a surfer

Everybody made a website
Everybody sent an E-Mail
Everybody wrote to Bill Gates
Everybody saw a .jpg

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

TYIN' THE LINE
(I Feel Fine)

My PC's workin' fine, y'no
I'm on it all the time, y'no
Yes it's so...

I really like the net,
An' Tyin' The Line

My server's good to me y'no
It really helps me see, y'no
I want mo'...

I'm on quite alot,
An' Tyin the line

I'm so glad,
My service is so good
It's so rad,
I'd live there if I could

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Ого! Сколько много!:) А можно помедленнее, "...я запписссываю...":)))

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

MY PC'S WEAK
(Eight Days A Week)

Oooh I need some megs, babe
Don't you know it's true
I don't wanna have to beg, babe
Can I borrow from you?

Give me, piracy
Give me, piracy

I ain't got nothin but crap, babe
MY PC's WEAK

My - PC's - Weak
And so-o-o-o I'm blue
My - PC's - Weak
It's so damn small it's barely there!

Wish I had a mac, babe
They always run for me
Insztead I'm stuck with crap, babe
So I want PIRACY!

Give me, piracy
Give me, piracy

I ain't got nothin but crap, babe
MY PC's WEAK
MY PC's WEAK
MY PC's WEAK!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

WE HATE YOU
(She Loves You)

We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah
We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah
We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah, YEAH!

You think you're somethin' new,
You're try-in' to brainwa-ah-ash!
I've got one word for you
And it's name is "Macintosh"

And so we hate you,
Cause we know you're really bad
We hate you,
You really make us maaad!
(Bo-oo-oooo)

We all loathe William Gates,
For Windows Nienty-Fi-ah-ive
And when we show our hate,
We hope he won't survive!

And so
We hate you,
Cause we know you're really bad
We hate you,
You really make us maaad!
(Bo-oo-oooo)

With a comp. like that,
You really make us mad
With a comp. like that,
You really make us mad

We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah
We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah
We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah, YEEAAH!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

EVERY PROGRAMS TRYING TO TAKE MY MEM'RY
(Everybody's Trying To Be My Baby)

Weeeell,
It took some mem'ry,
>From meee,
Used it up and then
Did nothing

Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry, now

Went out last night,
I bought a disk,
Brought it home and
Took the risk

Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry, now

Windows 95,
Took the most,
Hooked it up,
All it did was boast

Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry, now
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry
Every programs tryin' to take my mem'ry, now

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

TILL THERE WAS DOS
(Till There Was You)

There was space, on a disk
But I never, used it's mem'ry
No, I never used it a'tall
Till there was DOS

There were errors, in a drive
But I never, noticed problems
No, I never noticed a'tall
Till there was DOS

And there were programs
And wonderful mem'ry
In sweet, drives C & D
A lot, or few

There were bytes, on my comp.
But I never, took advantage
No, I never took them a'tall
Till there was DOS

TILL, THERE WAS DOS!!!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

I Could Eat Eggrolls Forever

Let me take you down,
'cause I'm going to
The Hotel Cafe
I don't have to pay
I think the maitre' de likes me
I could eat eggrolls forever.

Eating is easy with eyes closed
Open up your mouth and wedge it in
It's getting hard to choose which kind
but they all taste great
It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take you down,
cause I'm going to
The Hotel Cafe
I don't have to pay
I think the maiter de' likes me
I could eat eggrolls forever.

No one I think is in my league
I mean no one eats more than me
That is, you know, you can't beat me
but it's alright
It's from the practice that I've had.

Let me take you down,
cause I'm going to
The Hotel Cafe
I don't have to pay
I think the waiter he likes me
I could eat eggrolls forever.

Always hope that I'll lose this weight
But you know I know when it's a dream
I think I know of what to eat
but it's all wrong
So I think I'll eat these sweets.

Let me take you down,
cause I'm going to
The Hocal Cafe
I don't have to pay
I think the maiter de likes me
I could eat eggrolls forever.

I could eat eggrolls forever
I could eat eggrolls forever.

(heavy guitar interlude)

I ATE MRS. PAUL'S

I AM THE WALRUS - GOO GOO G' JOOB

NUMBER NINE... NUMBER NINE

ONE, ONE.. NINE - ONE ONE... NINE, ONE, ONE.....

(applause into fade..)

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

When I Can't Log In
(to the tune of When I am Sixty Four)

When I get source down from FTP
many megabytes,
will you still be dumping out core
from GCC, ls and more?
When I chase out the very last bug
will you crash again?
Must I still boot you, why don't I shoot you
when I can't log in.

I should be coding, coding in C
but my link has gone.
I get only timeouts from my UNIX site,
must I wait for boot ev'ry night?
And when at last I find the bad card
plug a new one in,
Must I still boot you, why don't I shoot you
when I can't log in.

All my files I have compressed to make a bit of hard disk space
but that's not enough
for my games of chess
and when I want my files
there's no decompress

When I get out and find me a job
I will wish me back
I will have to work on patches for MS-DOS
if I'm lucky, make a CMOS
I would be happy if just I could
ls /usr/games
I'd gladly boot you, I'd never shoot you
if I had login.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

In My Server
(to the tune of In My Life)

There are bugs in my server.
All the night, they erase my files
those remainers not for better
some have gone and some remain
all these bugs had their moments
with hackers and friends
who made system calls
bugs aren't dead and still living
In my life I've hated them all..

But of all these bugs on my servers
there is no one compared with Worm
All my memmories have been missing.
when I try to save as someting new
Though I know I'll never lose my frustration
for those bugs that kill my files before
I know I'll often stop and erase them
In my life I hate them more..


Though I know I'll never lose my frustration
for those bugs that kill my files before
I know I'll often stop and erase them
In my life I hate them more..
In my life I hate them more..

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Gay Stripper
(to the tune of Day Tripper)

Got a good reason
for taking the way to come out
Got a good reason
for taking the way to come out
He was a gay stripper
In the closet, yeah
It took him so long to come out
and I found out

He's a big queer
He took himself all ways there
He's a big queer
He took himself all ways there, now
He was a gay stripper
In the closet, yeah
It took him so long to come out
and I found out
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Tried to be stripper
He only strips one night, man
Tried to be stripper
He only strips one night, man..
He was a gay stripper
In the closet, yeah
It took him so long to come out
and I found out

Gay Stripper, Gay Stripper, Yeah..

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Scott McNealy's SUN
(to the tune of Mother Nature Son)

Start out as UNIX computer
Scott McNealy's SUN
All years long they're making
Work Stations for everyone..

deep inside the Mountain View
You can find BIll Joy
hacking the unix and
Internet as he flies
du, du, du....

They are making SparcStation,
Scott McNealy's SUN
hooking token ring
and network systems to their sun.
du, du, du, ......

Ooh... Ooh

Scott McNealy's SUN

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

All You Need Is Ram

RAM, RAM, RAM
RAM, RAM, RAM
RAM, RAM, RAM

There's no code you can do that can't be done
Nothing on cache memory that can't be saved
If something crash but you can avoid by adding memory
It's easy

There's no memomory on PC that can't be full
No files on your hard drive that can't be saved
For code that your wrote but it runs slow.. go and get more RAM
It's easy

All you need is RAM
All you need is RAM
All you need is RAM, RAM
RAM is all you need

RAM, RAM, RAM
RAM, RAM, RAM
RAM, RAM, RAM

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Lagman

Let me tell you how long it's been
That's 7K in 19 min
'Cause I'm the lagman, yeah, I'm the lagman

Should fifty baud appear quite sad
Be thankful it's not really bad
'Cause I'm the lagman, yeah, I'm the lagman

If you download sound, I'll lag your clip
If you try to process, I'll lag your chip
If you ftp, I'll lag your zip
If you surf the web, I'll lag your SLIP
Lagman!

Don't ask me why it's on the blink (a-ah, Mr. Thompson)
Unless you want to lose your link (a-ah, Mr. Gates)
'Cause I'm the lagman, yeah, I'm the lagman

Now my advice for MPEG freaks:
You could be waiting several weeks
'Cause I'm the lagman, I'm the lagman, yeah,
And you're waiting for no one but me.

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

All You Need Is Chat
(to original melody of All you need is LOVE)

CHAT, CHAT, CHAT
CHAT, CHAT, CHAT

There's no chat you can do that can't be done
Nothing on chat memory that can't be saved
If something crashes you can log on again
It's easy

There's no CHAT on TV so dont watch
No partner on swiss CHAT that doesnt match
just log in and type and start to chat..
It's easy

All you need is CHAT
All you need is CHAT
All you need is CHAT, CHAT
CHAT is all you need

CHAT, CHAT, CHAT
CHAT, CHAT, CHAT
CHAT, CHAT, CHAT

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Well!That's all right!

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Мы все плакали!!!!!!!!!!! :))))))))))))))))))))))))

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

https://www.beatles.ru/postman/forum_messages.asp?cfrom=1&msg_id=10873&cpage=1&forum_id=0

:)))))) уже было однажды что-то похожее....
но хорошие вещи достойны повторения

Это сообщение было перемещено из темы "Beatles PC humor".

Это называется "синг зис олл тугэзер"...

Write In C

Начитавшись данных интерпретаций в голову сразу приходит самый простой текст:
К вопросу о компьютерной безопасности:

Why don't we do it in the DOS,
Why don't we do it in the DOS,
Why don't we do it in the DOS,
Why don't we do it in the DOS,
Noone will be watching us
Why don't we do it in the DOS...